It's easy to get caught up in what we see in front of us. Our circumstances, as opposed to possibilities. If I were to focus on the circumstances, the facts, realities of what's happening around me, I'd be a mess.
However, I choose to look at the future, the wide array of possibility. I am standing on the precipice of change, all I see is the mirade, countless possibilities. I can be or do or have anything.
Recently in prayer time, my Jesus, said: "Remember, miracles come out of the blue." As if He were telling me to keep the faith, (which I will.) and trust Him. From looking back over my life, I know this to be true. Just when I feel like giving up, the miracle appears. I will never give up.
It will be exciting and interesting to see what unfolds before me. It feels like a big change is on the horizon. Silly me, big change has been the name of the game for the past 10 months.
It has come to my attention, I am the target of a rather low-down smear campaign. To that I say: I am keeping my eyes on the horizon, looking up to the heavens from whence my help comes from. Romans 8:31 says it all really: :What then shall we say in response to these things? If God is for ME, who can be against me?"
Fantasizing the freedom from the grips of darkness
Living in the shadows can become comfortable. Unfortunately, while living in the shadows, it's hard to see. It's a place to hide from life. A place where you don't have to get dressed, put on make up and show up; because you really cannot see yourself from within the shadow.
One thing I can say for myself, is; I AM teachable. Once my eyes are open to the truth, I'm on a mission to learn more. Studying, seeking, reading, listening to teachers on the subject. THEN, experiencing the peace that comes from understanding on a new level.
Today, I am living in the light. It is like nothing I've ever experienced. Funny thing is, I thought I WAS. For such a long time, I believed I was walking in the light, when in reality, I was sculking in the shadows.
Yesterday was a day of negotiating a contract to sell the house I live in. We went back and forth, about silly, petty details. Unfortunately, it was important for me to take control of a situation that affected my future.
In the end, I got some of what I wanted. Let go of the things I couldn't change.. Griped and bitched to a friend, my son and my sister about it. Finally went to sleep. Woke up exhausted, but back in my peace.
At the end of the day, I'm fine. My life is good. This situation will come to a conclusion and I'm sure, I'll be better equipt to handle the next one. Because, dear ones, there is ALWAYS a next one. We never "arrive" in this life.
You see, I'm coming to realize the journey is where I find my joy. Not in the having of a thing or a situation. It's in the seeking, the learning, the discovery! Fantastic. I've made new friends, let go of toxic, painful relationships and come alive in the light.
That said: The more I know, the more I know I DON'T know.
Fantasizing the freedom to say; "I don't know, but I can find out!"
Today is Independence Day. . .celebrate freedom today. Take a look around and appreciate the freedom, America affords you. Eat, drink and be merry!
Then, think about what it would feel like to live in that kind of freedom everyday. The ability to do that, is to be brave. BRAVE: to defy; challenge; dare. Defy convention, Challenge the status quo, Dare to make a difference,
Bravery is not the absence of fear, bravery is action in the face of fear. Here is where the magic happens. Everytime you step out in faith, courageously, you become more and more courageous. You see, God will honor your faith and courage with everything you desire.
Living in the realm of the miraculous breeds bravery. Bravery to believe big, dream bigger. Today, I am living in the realm of the miraculous. My life is more than I could have thought of, dreamed of or even could imagine.
There is nothing to fear. Freedom is all I ever dreamed it would be and more! My challenge today is to dream big enough.
Declare it as so, then walk in the faith that it is mine. Today I believe I AM a sought after, motivational speaker. I am dynamic. People pay me to travel around the world. My wisdom, experience and words change the world, change peoples lives for the better, everyday.
Now, some would say, this is delusional, some would say, I sound crazy or conceited. Today, I do not give a thought to what other people think or say about me. It is none of my business. Once you learn to be happy in the face of all that, there is nothing you cannot be, or have, or do.
Fantasizing the freedom to let others pay me to see the world!!!!
“Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I am changing myself.” Rumi
The only person, the only life and experience we have any control over is our own. It took me a while to realize, I could never be good enough, loving enough, compliant enough, smart enough or good looking enough to make my husband happy.
It took me a very long time to realize, it wasn't my job to make him happy. Any more than it was his job to make me happy.
At any rate, I have done the soul work, the emotional work, the physical and mental work. Now that, that phase of my life has come to an end, I am finding myself shooting high into the stratosphere.
Of course I went through a rather dark period of mourning, which had to be done. Still, at the end of that, I didn't have to crawl out of the pit, I came shooting up out of there, up, up and away!
For all these, many years, of reading self help books, praying, going to councelling, Bible study, retreats, prayer meetings, going to rehab after rehab. . .it felt, sometimes, as if, I was just spinning my wheels. Not so. All that training, discipline and sacrifice has paid off in ways I can't even express in words.
Today, the scriptures that I've studied so diligently for so many, many years, are coming alive in ways I never could have dreamed possible. My consistent prayer has been ; "Lord, show me Your glory." He has and is answering in a big way.
What's ironic is this: When I change myself, I DO change the world. Only God knows to what degree.
Fantasizing the freedom to move and live and have my being in the presence of the Lord. AMEN
It's July, the month we celebrate our freedom as a country. It is fitting and right that I speak to my own freedom.
I started writing this blog with the intention of learning to look at freedom in a new way. Being human, I couldn't see any human way to break free of my situation. What has happened, is I have become free. Freer than I ever dreamed possible.
Today, my son and his family are on their way over for the afternoon. An afternoon of light and love, food and fun. All the curtains are open, lights are on and Cher is singing on my Google mini. (Yes folks, I am dipping my toe into technology.)
Whatever happens today, I know I will enjoy it. Pure radiant love surrounds me and engulfs my space. No judgement, no constraints, no tension. Just a small smile in anticipation of my little granddaughters, calling "NANA!" When they walk through the door.
Dream big and believe for a better life. Don't curse youself with your thoughts and your words. Whatever you are thankful for, God will give you more of. If your words are full of your problems, he will give you more of that also.
Fantasizing the freedom to speak a magical life into existense.
Life is a gift. If we spend it avoiding pain and conflict, we rob ourselves of the adventure. Over time, I've spent lots of time striving for freedom and clarity.
Today, I am clear on what I want out of life. This clarity has come out of living what I don't want. Through confronting it and working to heal my heart and discover who I really, really, really am, at the very core of me.
I am free to pursue anything I desire. In fact, I am in a position today, I've been dreaming of since I was a small child.
I don't owe anybody, anything. I am free, healthy, prosperous and so, so, happy. Everything is as it should be. Today, I am walking in the miraculous. It's been a long road and I've learned to stay in my own lane.
Once I stray into someone elses' lane, things get buggered up. What someone else thinks or says about me, is NONE of my business. Once I understood this on a deep, gut level, I was free indeed.
I've learned the lessons life has taught me. I will continue to pay attention to the lessons life has to offer me. You see, while we are on this earth, we will never "arrive", because life is a journey, not a destination.
I've been blessed with a teachable, discerning spirit and courage. I have no regrets because everything I've gone through has brought me here. I hold no grudges, in fact I am thankful and grateful to those whom have contributed to my journey.
Thank you. . .from the bottom of my heart for all the love, all the pain. Thank you. . .for the travels, the beautiful family, the memories, the passion. Thank you for facilitating my growth and wisdom. May all good come to you as you travel your new path.
I don't know what God has in store for my future, but I DO know it is fabulous. I am believing for greatness.
Fantasizing the freedom to live life large and in charge!!
"All things work together for good to those who love the Lord and are called according to his purposes." Romans 8:28
ALL things DO work together for good, when that's what I expect. Don't get me wrong, I've had my moments of doubt, even dispair. We all do, that's life.
The key to moving forward is consistently getting back on the journey. Get up, dust off; better yet, put on some blush and mascara, a pretty dress, high heels and a smile. . . THEN get moving.
The smile is key. Do what makes you happy. Give love to everyone you touch in a given day. Look at the individual in the wheel chair, the old person on the bench. We all need love and recognition.
I met an old woman once, a long time ago, who told me, she complimented people when she thought good things of them. Over the past 38 years, I've thought of her, when I see someone with beauty of any kind. Speaking goodness into a strangers life, can change things in ways we know not of.
The most valuable commodity we have is our love. When you share your love with the world, God, shares all the goodness His love has to offer with us! Simple as that. "Give and it will be given unto you, pressed down, shaken together and overflowing, shall men pour into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again." Luke 6:38
Today, life is magical. Everyday is full of peace and love. Even if I am the only one around. Don't spend a moment allowing anyone to take your peace. No matter who you are, man or woman, boy or girl, tall, short, rich or poor, college grad or kindergardener, a dynamo or in a wheel chair; YOU ARE special, and powerful and valuable.
Stand, or sit, in your power, always.
Fantasizing the freedom I have, everyday, to live large and walk in the miraculous.
I remember, vividly, the day, 42 years ago, I asked my mother; "When will things calm down?" Her response was to laugh her ass off. Perfect. AND true.
Things never calm down, at least not for long. That is the nature of life on this planet. The key is this; remain happy. No matter what befalls you or who gets in your face, stay peaceful.
Now, I can see in my minds eye, so many of you becoming angry at this suggestion. I get it. To remain calm and happy in the face of adversity is easier said than done.
Recently my husband accused me of "just not caring!" He was right, I don't care. I don't give a flip what the circumstances around me look like. I do care about how I feel. What's the point of getting upset over petty little shit? AND, it's ALL petty little shit.
We've all heard the saying: "This too shall pass." Exactly. It is passing through your life. It doesn't have to BE your life.
For the first time, ever, I am at peace. Of course at times my body belies the fact that something has upset me. That's okay. As long as I'm aware of it and as soon as possible, bring myself back to peace.
God is in control and I'm not Him. We will never, never, ever, arrive. . .life is about the journey. Having fun along the way, gurarantees a happy life. Money doesn't, family doesn't, friends don't. . .we must decided every morning.
Fantasizing the freedom to be annoyingly happy, NO MATTER WHAT!
It's been nine months since my life took a huge turn. I've definately had some deep downs, also some good ups.
Today, I can say, for the most part the ups are way more frequent than the downs. Although, I am still a bit paralysed: a condition of helpless stoppage, inactivity, or inability to act.
Normally, I am a very active person. Doing, doing, doing. Today there is a couple here cleaning windows, while I, for the most part, am sitting on my butt. Monday there was a woman cleaning my house. Same senario.
I am, right now, fighting the feeling of embarrassement at this status. I know, I am in recovery. Recovery from years of feeling like nothing. Recovery from trying to prove I am something.
The way I've proven to myself and the world, I am something, was through doing. Doing this, doing that. Working, schooling, cleaning house, doing yard work, taking care of everyone. Everyone that is except myself.
I had to look a certain way, dress a certain way, be a certain way. It is really only, in this moment, I am able to see what has brought me to a screeching halt. WOW, what an epiphany.
Today, I am practicing just BEING. . . It feels so good. I am worthy of love and every good thing God has for me. What I do has nothing, whatever, to do with how worthy I am.
Fantasizing the freedom to simply BE!
This truth has changed my life forever. Over the past nine months, I've been going through a very stressful time. I can't say I behaved well for a lot of it.
Asking for help, being open to the possibility it was all my doing, allowed me to change my perspective. With a change in my perspective, the door was opened to change my life.
I have changed in ways I can't even put words to. For the first time ever, I am free of self limiting thoughts. I am free of the deep seated belief; there was something wrong with me. Belief that I wasn't worthy of success, respect, happiness.
It took hard work and introspection to bring up these beliefs, because I didn't know the extent of them. You see, they were all subconscious. Every decision I made or treatment I allowed, was born out of those beliefs. Over the course of several days and a lot of support, all that darkness exploded out of me.
When it was all said and done, I felt physically changed. My body relaxed, my mind cleared. I realized, how very loved and supported I am. God created me to be happy and fulfilled and powerful. He loves me enough to carry me through this life.
You are worth more than you could possibly know. Today, I am ignoring the "mess" swirling around me. Today I am walking in my power and glory. Praise the Lord! I'll keep you posted as to how and when the "mess" vanishes, as I'm certain it will.
Fantasizing the freedom to believe for greatness. And so, let it BE!