I ran into a co-worker yesterday whom had invited me to a party last Saturday evening. Originally I told her, yes, I'd love to come. That didn't change, but my circumstances did. I made sure to tell her I couldn't make it. End of story?. . . not quite.
The main reason I wanted to go in the first place was the group of women she had assembled. I thought it would be great to get to know her and the others better. I work with these women and had respect for them as human beings.
Yesterday when I saw her in the hall, she was not happy. I asked her how the party went, she told me nobody showed up. WHAT? I don't know why it surprised me, I've had the same thing happen to me.
If you aren't going to honor your word, your word is worthless. Actions speak louder than words is the way I've heard it all my life. She had put money, time and effort into putting together food, and preparing for this event. Sat waiting for, who knows, how long before putting it all away. Disappointed and hurt.
People! DO what you say you'll DO. Or tell me no. It used to be important to be a person of honor. To have your word mean something. I've heard people say; My word is my bond. And it used to be true. Today people don't seem to give two hoots if they show up or not.
I'll tell you this. Unless it is unavoidable, I will do what I say I'll do, no matter how I may feel in the moment. Even if it's inconvenient or I'm too tired or what-have-you, the feeling I get from keeping my word is far more important, not to mention the one I'd be letting down.
It makes me sad, it makes me mad, when others are so cavalier about hurting someone else. God knows, I've hurts others through my life, more than I care to remember. But, I do remember. The memory of it, helps me to make the effort never to do it on purpose.
Do what you say you'll do, or don't agree to it in the first place. In this day and age of texting, instagram, etc. . . how easy would it be to send a quick message? "Can't make it tonight, so sorry."
Next time the opportunity presents it's self, try putting yourself in the other's feet. How would you feel. More to the point, how will you feel when it happens to you? What goes around, comes around. What you put out is what you get back. So don't go crying when it happens, remember how our friend felt when you did it to her.
Fantasizing, realizing, how it feels to be free from guilt over not following through on a promise. (Yes, accepting an invitation IS a promise.)