I'm on the other side of a valley. As I climb up into the light, I am stronger, more aware of what I really want out of life. More aware of why I've made the choices I have.
I am here because I want to be here. It's hard, no doubt, this situation. I think it is so hard because there is no fixing it and right now, nothing left to do but accept it.
It is in the acceptance, I am finding some peace. Of course I pray for things to be different, for the relief of pain. Now, the only thing left to do, is the best I can to make life better for myself and those I love.
This morning is the first morning of my schedule experiment. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it earlier. Earlier being the key. You see, I have been an early riser all my life. In my mind the earlier I got to work and got home the better.
Today I am trying out going in later. I'm hoping, if I have the morning to work out, write, pray, enjoy the morning light the better I will feel. A lot of my depression has been over succumbing to the darkness when I get home from work.
We'll see how thing change, if they change, by simply changing up the order a bit. So off I go to get my tea, work out and get off to work. To be continued. . .
Fantasizing the freedom to hope.