As an adult, I've had recurrent dreams of scary water and recently climbing steep hills. Quite different. So what to do about it?
Truthfully, as I sit here, I don't know. What's the difference? As a young person, I had so many hopes and dreams. I was going to be a writer for one. I found that road to be arduous and discouraging. I heard someone say once, if you write, you are a writer. In that sense, I certainly am.
I also thought I was special some how. The bumps and bruises, constant disappointment and my bad choices squashed that illusion. So how do I get back to dreams of flying again, reach the top of the steep hill I climbed last night and take off?
Believing I can would be the first step. Gratitude maybe? Letting go I think will be the key. This week I've written of hills, acceptance and frustration. I think acceptance, as I said earlier, is the answer to all my problems.
As adults, I think most of us take on more responsibility than we need to. I know I take on responsibility in my mind, for the team winning, for my children's happiness, for my husbands pain. I take on guilt for getting my nails done or buying a new outfit (well, that part's getting better).
Today, as I see this pattern, I am, right now letting it go. . . Dear God, I turn my day and all it holds over to your care and management. I will not be interfering. Amen. Fantasizing the freedom to trust with abandon and fly!