I will say this: My husband is a kind, careing, giving, human being. Except when it comes to me. Same as my father. He was the life of the party. The man on the block everyone loved.
The truth is, he was wonderful to everyone except his family. Now, I'm not saying my husband is not good to his family. He is. The truth is, I never lived up to his expectations. No matter what I did. Never good enough.
I love him. Always will. At the same time, I was never good enough. Never did enough, never loved him enough.
There is no coming back from that. One last time, getting screamed at for not listening, not, not measureing up. I don't think I ever could.
That said, he is a wonderful man, a generous man, a caring man. So then, I am being attacked by those who think I am putting him down.
Dear Lynn, you are my sister. Of course I will speak about what upsets me. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate the wonderful man that I married. Of course he took care of me, of course he is generous.
At the same time I cannot live up to his expectations. I am no longer going to try. I snore, I don't listen as well as he would like. Ed, I love you, always will. Tired of trying to be perfect.
Fantasizing the freedom to be Sharon, flaws and all.