Of course I feel terrible. I also know, there is no going back now. First of all, I will turn the ringer back on. Called her back and left a message of my own. Now I sit here praying for her and waiting until it is appropriate to call again.
Being there for each other is not always easy. It is however high on my priority list. Especially for my children and their children. It breaks my heart when I let them down. And let them down, I have.
I think every parent who ever gave a damn, has regrets. Pretty sure my mom did, I know my father never has. He couldn't wait to get away from his 4 beautiful daughters. I am quite sure he has no idea how much his disdain has wounded us all.
God gets the glory for how far most of us have come. Of course the scars are still there, but they serve as battle scars to me. Remembering how much I've gone through. Now, knowing it has turned me into the human being I am today, I do not regret one minute of it.
To both my beautiful children, I will always be there for you, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes. I thank you for being there for me. Taking me dancing when I most needed it, forgiving me and loving me in spite of all my character defects.
My love for you goes out from my heart to yours always. XOXO
Fantasizing the freedom to always be where I am needed most.