This last event should have been a happy one since none of the crap I went through made me drink. It wasn't good, because, I missed my meeting to pick up my chip and was upset about that, then got a "talking to" by my sponsor who gave me a thorough list of all the people I let down.
"They" say you can't do it alone. I bought into that and opened myself up for an ass chewing. At first, I looked at it as a lot of people who really care about me. Now, I am allowing myself to be locked up in my head and that is the last thing I need to do.
Right this minute I have time to get a shower and go to a meeting. I do not even want to show my face. I feel like this past year, I've done everything I had to do and at the last minute, got really sick and flaked out for a day or two.
Do people who love and care about you react that way when you are sick and out of it? Maybe, I guess. A simple we were worried, I'm glad you're okay and I'm sorry your so sick, would have done the job.
I'm going back to bed. Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow and get to my 7 am coffee klatch and tell them how I feel.
Sometimes freedom eludes us. When you are down and out, fantasize the freedom to give yourself a pitty party, then let it go. See you on the flip side.