I've been working on searching my heart and mind for what I can comfortably change. (OMG, I just realized how insane that thought just was!). Change is rarely comfortable. crap.
Well that realization just threw a ratchet in my though process. Okay, so now, I need to look at ways to change my situation that I and my spouse can live with. My problem is, old habits die hard.
I am, now finding, that in order to live a well rounded life I need to step out and make it happen. Change is a given, it is up to me, to either participate and choose wisely the direction I turn at the fork in the road, or be passive and let what happens, happen.
This I know, God has a plan for me and my sweetie. We simply need to have faith and do the next right thing. My biggest problem is, I'd rather be here with him than out in the world. At the same time I need other people, noise, music, dance and laughter in my life.
I try not to get excited about any planned outing, because nine times out of ten it never happens. I try to keep my chin up, sometimes it's really hard. Dear God, show me the way that I may walk in it. Show me a path to greater freedom. Amen.