We all have filters when it comes to our experiences. I have three sister, when we talk about an event in our childhood, each one has a different experience of that event.
It depends on where you came from, how you were raised, the experiences you've had in life.
We hear things differently, see things differently. Most of the time someone gets offended, the offender has no idea what they said, did, hurt you at all.
I've had an experience when someone, in a group counseling situation, called me out on something I said that hurt her deeply. I'm really glad she told me. Otherwise I never would have been made aware of how my "innocent" comments affect someone else.
We can't always say or do the right thing. I am trying to, now, give myself the grace I give to others. Not dwelling on: "Why did I say that? Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Scrambling to "fix it". Instead I think; now that I know better, I will do better. Apologize if possible and FIDO! Forget it and drive on!
Fantasizing the freedom to stand in a place of love and forgiveness.