I was always too loud, too bossy, too fat, too flashy, too something or other. OR, not enough. Just that; not enough to accomplish my dreams to be a good mother, wife, employee, person. I was all these things, in my mind, therefore that is how I experienced my life.
I am so very thankful for a teachable spirit. Tell me, show me, how I can make things better. I will listen and do the best I can to change myself.
At this point in the journey, I am pretty happy with where I am. I am especially happy to know I will continue to grow and learn. It's also a relief to know that it was and is the struggles in life that made me strong.
It used to really hurt when I realized, my parents weren't going to help me. They simply were not equipt with the ability to do so. Emotionally, financially, spiritually. I believe, if you habitually lean on someone, something, outside yourself to take care of you, you will remain weak and crippled.
As a physical therapist assistant I work with people everyday who are "crippled" in some way. It is those who push themselves through the pain, do the hard work, they get better. Those who continually lean on someone or something else for help stay weak and crippled.
When my kids were younger and starting out. There were times I would come to their rescue. There were many more times, I would simply listen and say: "You'll figure it out." I'm sure they didn't always appreciate it, but it gave them the opportunity to grow and see what they were and are capable of.
Let your kids suffer some. Give them the gift of growing stronger through adversity. Trust them enough to stand up to the challenge. I am so very proud of both of my kids and the accomplishments they've achieved by pushing through painful, scary times.
Do the same for yourself. If you have a problem there is a 100% chance it's you. Stand up and take the first step out of it and you'll be surprised by what you really can do to change and grow stronger.
Fantasizing the freedom to stand up and show up in my own life.