I went home with the paperwork on my options, ready to quit. My stomach was in knots, I felt like throwing up and crying at the same time.
I work, largely for medical coverage. Now, it looks like, with huge deductibles and lower percentage payments, I may as well have no insurance at all.
The question before me is; Am I going to believe what I've been spouting? The seemingly bad thing, turning into a bigger blessing? Or, am I going to lose sleep, stay angry and make bad decisions? Then it occurred to me, God had been showing me examples of this truth for weeks now. I've written about my experiences with gratitude.
I see it as His way of preparing me for the "test" ahead. I chose to turn it over to God and breath. The very second I decided to give it into His hands, I felt a release in my spirit and in my body.
Shortly after, I sat down to read the benefits package and go through the tutorial on the company web site. As it turns out, the situation is not as bleak as I originally thought. With a few days to do the research, pray and make a decision, I can go to bed now and sleep. I have a blessed assurance, Jesus has a plan for me, a plan for good.
Fantasizing the freedom to allow myself to feel my feelings, let them go and walk in peace.