I was just talking to a friend about how tired and "out of sorts" I've been. I don't really know why, when I should be jumping for joy. She and others today, have said, you can finally take your guard down and breath. Maybe that's it.
For so long, I've felt I had to take care of everything. Now I don't feel it so much. I can see an end to the tension, the hopelessness, the need to always be strong.
I'm getting my partner back. Soon. The healing has begun. One week today since the surgery, I know three months will fly by. A year from now, our lives will look very different. Different than they've looked for many, many years.
The structure of our life hasn't changed. My job is the same, our home is the same, our family is the same. BUT, our reality is changing drastically. I am having to look at my life with new eyes, in an old landscape. I have no idea what to expect.
The truth is, everything is subject to change. It sometimes comes slowly and suddenly at the same time. 15 years of prayers and procedures and pain management and missed opportunities. Then suddenly, it all changes, in a matter of days. Never take for granted the life you are living. It can change in an instant.
So guard your heart, your mind, your mouth. Think good thoughts, pray and have faith that God has a good plan for your life. Never, never, never give up faith that He will come through for you.
Fantasizing freedom to live life to the fullest with my partner by my side.