How easy it is to get drawn into drama. I remember a time when I was quick to judge and had no problem saying so. For many years I fought this mind set. When I met Jesus, one of the first prayers I prayed was; "Please relieve me of this judgmental spirit."
He did. It took a long time and a lot of humiliation. The very thing I was doing, is the thing that set me free. I was surrounded by others who judged me unfairly, harshly, for many years. It was so frustrating. No matter what I did, wore, said, I was accused of being a liar and starting rumors, by my pastor. A 2 x 4 flew up from the freeway, hitting my car, as a truck ran over it. As I told the story about the huge dent in my car, again the pastor, looked at me with disbelief and said' "Oh come on Sharon McCambpell."
So hurtful, so unjust. These examples I thought were the most extreme because of the source. He wasn't the only one who couldn't see me. It was so painful, so lonely. To have intentions that are so misconstrued, or worse disregarded as lies.
Today when someone speaks to me in a disrespectful, hurtful way, especially unwarranted, I just walk away.
Then there's the gossip. At work, school, in families. . . Did you hear this. . .? Can you believe she did that? Stirring the pot. To what end? It's not easy to close your ears to this kind of talk, or worse have to stop somebody mid sentence, but all it does is foster discord. Discord is the last thing I need in my life.
What amazed me this past few weeks, it happened again more that once, more than twice. Not only was I able to nip it in the bud and walk away, I did it without a bit of hurt or anger at any of the people involved. And it happened naturally.
In the past I would get sick to my stomach, cry, or go over it and over it in my mind. Today I don't have to do that. It just snuck up on me, this release from judgment. I love all the people involved, but I refuse to allow myself to be disrespected, discounted or taken for granted one more day of my life.
Dr. Phil says it best: "You teach people how to treat you." It was a long, painful journey from judgment, to understanding. Today, I feel at peace much of the time. When someone does something stupid, hurtful or scandalous, I am able to see, I could have done the same thing. I don't want your judgment, so I won't give you mine. You may see less of me, but I don't think any less of you.
Fantasizing the freedom from needing drama or an apology.