She is the kind of woman who is eternally optimistic about family. No matter how many times she gets hurt, she keeps going back for more. Part of me is proud and part of me wants to lock her up.
She schooled me yesterday in a truth I should have seen. You see, I've been burned enough to keep my fingers off the stove, even when the fire has died down.
I have a sister who's suffered an unimaginable loss. I have not reached out to her, due to the fact that she is toxic. Whenever I have opened up to her, I've been very sorry. Non-the-less, she is my sister and I need to acknowledge her pain.
I'm not foolish enough to open the phone lines for a lashing. I will send a card. My dilemma now is how to frame it. When I think about what to say, I just become angry and inappropriate. This is the time to ask God for help. Help letting go of my anger toward her, help seeing the source of her venom and understanding it, help looking past it.
Dear Lord, help me see and understand what she needs to hear. Give me the compassion to give it to her in the best way I can. Give her strength through this terrible time. Amen. Fantasizing the freedom to get out of my own way and reach out to someone who doesn't deserve it.