When I do something for someone else out of obligation or any ulterior motive, it comes across fake. And it is. When I do something for someone else out of the goodness of my heart, even if they don't notice, it's okay. They are hopefully happy and so am I.
I am finally learning; in following my heart, being myself, it doesn't matter if others like me, don't like me or are indifferent. I'm happy with who I am. So far it's turned out okay.
Friday, I was sick. I went to work anyway, knowing I was in so much pain, hadn't slept the night before and took way too many ibuprophen. Well, I ended up going home early, slept 15 hours and felt much better on Saturday.
In trying to be there, so as not to mess up anybody else's schedule, I probably set myself back and didn't help anybody in the end.
Today, I see, taking care of myself is the only way to live a happy life. It's also the only way to ever hope to make others happy.
Fantasizing the freedom to be myself and take care of me first..