It struck me because we (being the baby boomers) have raised up a society of soft, inept babies. Now, I don't make this a sweeping statement because I know for a fact there are also young people coming up who are intelligent, hard working and tough.
When our children were growing up, their father and I were not soft on them. They had logical consequences to their actions. They had responsibilities. They worked for what they wanted.
Get thrown off the school bus, you ride your bike to school; want a car, get a job. There was some door slamming and "I hate you's" along the way, but today they are both successful, hard working adults who take responsibility for themselves and their families.
I'm not sure if they are completely aware of how their struggles have made them who they are, yet. I hope and pray they will carry on raising hard working, appreciative and responsible children. God knows this world will need them more and more.
So, if you are a parent, don't worry if your children say they hate you, it means they trust you enough to say it AND you are doing enough to make them struggle a bit. Strength of any kind takes moving outside our comfort zones into the area of fear, struggle and discovery.
I have shared the story of the butterfly before, but it bears repeating. There was a child growing a cocoon in a jar for school. When the butterfly began to emerge, it was a long, arduous struggle. The child, being compassionate, took some scissors and clipped the cocoon to free the creature. It then lay on its side, wings wet and shriveled up, couldn't fly or even move. Lying on the table, a sad child watched as it died.
You see, it is in the struggle, the butterfly becomes strong. Strengthening and drying its wings along the way. In "helping" the butterfly, the child actually killed it.
The question becomes are you "helping" your children so much you are crippling them. Facing and working through struggle is the very process by which we gain strength and pride in our own abilities. It builds compassion and character. It instills a work ethic.
I know people my age, who have been crippled this way. They never recovered. Today still, depending on parents to support and bail them out of financial trouble. They have been crippled, with no life skills or strength to lift themselves up and fly.
Fantasizing the freedom to allow the children in my life to discover their strength and spread their wings. So proud of my Jimmy and Sabrina. Mommy loves you enough to let you struggle.