I whole conversation about phony people ensued. If you are a "wannabe", people know. Now, I do ascribe to the concept of fake it until you make it. I think the difference here is; working toward being something, or someone different and pretending to already be that.
Pretending to care about someone to get them to do what you want them to do would be in this category. Do as I say, not as I do; phony. Dressing up as or taking on characteristics to fit it to a group you have nothing in common with also comes off as phony.
It takes energy to go through life pretending. It also takes energy to genuinely change into someone different. Having been on both sides of this coin, I can tell you, the energy is different. One is draining and one is invigorating.
Once I've made a decision to change, figured out what needs to take place to bring about change and embarked on that change, I am in harmony. I am thinking about it, talking about it and doing something about it. It feels good.
If I'm walking around trying to make others think I'm something I'm not, it is exhausting. Truth is, if you think you're fooling anyone, you're not. It was not only humiliating, but a relief to finally admit what everyone already knew. It was also the first step in bringing about the change necessary.
When one does the work to actually be what they want to be, respect follows. Fantasizing the freedom to take off my masks and walk in harmony with what and who I really am as I work on becoming who I really want to be.