I've always said, my time is worth more to me than the money. That said, I've worked some longer hours this week and really enjoyed it. I always knew I was a learner, but had forgotten how exhilarating it can be.
The future holds so many unknowns. One thing I DO know is; I will never sit on my hands and stagnate. It can be scary starting a new job or school, or even taking over some extra tasks I'm unfamiliar with, but it is so worth the ride.
I've witnessed what happens to people who would rather stay in their small, little worlds and live hand to mouth than venture out and really live. They don't just stay in their rut, the rut begins to close in on them. In my mind, living is growing and changing. One definition of "living" is; active or thriving; vigorous; strong.
Fear puts one to the test, it either stops you or goads you on. When fear creeps in, the natural response is to retreat. If on the other hand, it is challenged, it can become a source of energy, excitement and a challenge to be met.
I remember a vacation I took with my husband to Hound Ears, NC. While there, we took a drive up Grandfather mountain. Well, I did not know I was afraid of heights until that day. As we wound up the mountain with a wall of granite on one side and a deep cliff on the other, I found myself sinking lower and lower in my seat. My stomach turned and my head felt heavy, like I would faint. I couldn't look out the window.
When we got to the visitor center, the parking lot was surrounded my boulders. I walked, crept, to the building, going from boulder to boulder, hanging on, certain I was going to "fly" off the side of the mountain at any moment.
There was a swinging bridge there and on the wall the story of the "Mile high" bridge. It was in fact, a mile from the bottom of the ravine. Ed, my husband, skipped across that bridge like it was nothing. On the other side I watched him hop from boulder to boulder, exploring, while I sat, clenched to a boulder at the entrance.
At one point, I watched a large woman stride past me, as I trembled there. She had to be 300 lbs. She stepped on that bridge and across with confidence. That bridge rocked and swung with the weight. She showed no fear.
Did I feel small. In that moment I decided, if she can do it, I can do it. And I did. I pried myself from my rock, stood at the mouth of the bridge, steeled myself and stepped on. I ran across the bridge as fast as I could, then back again, to my rock. It wasn't my proudest moment, but I lived through it.
All it takes is that first step to realizing you can overcome fear to become whatever it is you dream of becoming. There is no shame in failing, the only shame comes in not trying at all.
Fantasizing freedom from the constraints fear can bring.