Sleep has eluded me for so many years I can't even remember how long. All I know is, it feels good to sleep, finally. So many things have changed for me over the past two years. One of those things is my self discipline has returned.
I've always been one to accomplish goals. Even when I was at my worst, I accomplished one of the hardest. To graduate from the PTA program was one of the hardest things I've ever done. College started at the same time my marriage was as rocky as it's ever been, which added greatly to my already sketchy condition.
It seems as I look back, when things get hard, my head is harder. Giving up has not been in my character, ever. I remember one of my professors asking me: "Why don't you just quit?". I told him: "You can kick me out, but I'll never quit." To my surprise, I graduated with honors.
It was another full year before I had a complete break down. Today I can say the break down was the beginning of my break through. You see, until I was completely sure I couldn't go on in my own strength, I wouldn't step aside and give myself over to God.
He took me to a place, where my life changed forever. I was there two months and spent the entire time working on myself. Clearing out the anger, resentments and fear I held deep down inside. Opening the door to be all I was created to be.
That experience also took discipline. Discipline to stay, discipline to do what I was told. Discipline to get up everyday and be better. Whatever it is you want to do, or be, you can do or be. All it takes is getting up everyday and taking one more step in that direction.
The truth about life is this; either we are moving toward something or away from it. We are never standing still. One step at a time I have realized many of my dreams. Now, it is my challenge to dream big, dreams to move toward. Fantasizing the freedom to become more than I could ever think or ask or dream.