It was a shift I felt in my body, an awakening of something that has been there all along. It was covered up with self doubt and insecurity, brought on, hearing I was worthless all of my formative years.
Wednesday was our final game of kickball for this season. The team planned an end of season party. I brought a change of clothes and got decked out for the occasion. As I was sharing this with my husband, he objected. Why do you have to get dressed up for this thing. My response was strong and final: "I don't get to go out often and I'm dressing up!"
His response surprised me. He said, with a smile: "Well you've finally realized who you are." He then proceeded to help me put together my outfit. Wow, who knew? All I had to do was stand up and declare what I wanted and it was there, all along. Just like Dorothy, clicking her ruby slippers three times and finding she had the way home all along. That moment I felt a physical change, a deep down power I've been seeking my entire life.
After the game, our Platypus Ducks went out to dance and celebrate all the fun we'd had. The team got me flowers and Mike, who presented the idea in the first place, had a personalized trophy made for me. Wow, was I surprised and honored. Feeling the love in a big way, at home and from my friends. Doesn't get much better than that.
What this change will produce, I don't know, but I'm buckling my seat belt for a roller coaster ride!