Today I am in a valley. I actually had a good day. Got a raise at work, had some good deep discussions with clients. It's when I got home, I felt shut down. My good news was blown off and I was instantly near tears.
I don't think it was just that, it's a build up of the hard work I'm doing within myself, working a very physically, mentally and emotionally taxing job, and a lot of responsibilities at home. I find myself feeling alone, unappreciated and sad.
The truth is I am not alone. I have a lot of people who love and care about me, I have my God always near. It is my unrealistic expectation coupled with being exhausted that bring me into this weepy, wah wah mood.
As I reflect on things my dear friend said as I poured my woes out to her, my mood is lifting. It has been a matter of several hours and I feel myself coming out of it. Instead of feeling defeated for having a pity party, I rejoice in the support and willingness to let it go sooner than later. Also the fact that I owe no apologies, for I didn't need to speak harshly or say something I would regret.
I feel I've made progress, even though I had a dark evening. There is no getting around being human. Fantasizing the freedom allow myself to walk through my darkness without condemnation.